Sup Wisconsin?: What would Frank Gallagher do, set a blind person on fire or just himself?

Hey everyone.  As most of you know, Tap Down Sports is a home grown, cheese lovin’, beer drinking’Wisconsin through and through blog and brand.  It was started in a living room in northwest Wisconsin and spread all around the state from Eau Claire to La Crosse to Oshkosh to Green Bay and will hopefully be a household name throughout the Badger state.  In order to celebrate our heritage and update everyone on the happenings of our state, I’m starting a new blog series called “Sup Wisconsin?” where I write about things that are taking place everyday.  Here’s the first installment, and I hope you like it.

Source: Tony Galli of WKOW.com:

MADISON (WKOW) – A Madison man is charged with a felony crime after authorities say he wielded an open, gasoline can and threatened to set on fire a blind woman.  43-year old Lewis Gallagher appeared in Dane County Court Tuesday on the charge of second degree recklessly endangering safety, as a domestic abuse crime.  Authorities say the blind victim called 911 Nov. 2. They say arriving officers found Gallagher with the gas can and matches at the west side Madison residence he shared with the woman, and say Gallagher set himself on fire. Court records show Officer Joshua Acker used a fire extinguisher to put out flames around Gallagher.  A criminal complaint states the blind victim told investigators Gallagher told her “…he was going to ‘light me on fire.’ ” Records state she “…could immediately smell gasoline,” after the threat was made, and Gallagher told detectives he had the gas can inside their home.

There is without a single doubt it my mind that Lewis Gallagher is Shameless’ Frank Gallagher’s long lost brother who made the trip up from Chicago sometime during his life to raise hell, go on yearlong mega-benders, and fuck over everyone who gets in his way.  Based on the cold hard facts of this story, including this being Frank’s brother, I’m guessing this is what went down throughout this situation.  The blind ma’am is Lewis Gallagher’s Shelia, but instead of being severely paranoid, she’s blind and can’t see Lewis for the piece of shit guy he is right down to the genes that made him.  I’m guessing she finally realized who the man she was living with really was and tried kicking him out of the house for good.  Knowing the Gallagher blood line, Lewis was doing everything imaginable to keep his room and have a warm place to sleep at night after he dragged himself home from the bar in an alcohol induced coma, so he wasn’t giving up without a fight.  However, also knowing the Gallagher ways, he picked the worst choice he could in threatening this blind woman after his sly, charming words didn’t do the trick.

Come the fuck on Lewis.  She can’t see a gun; she can’t see a knife; and she can’t even see you for goodness sake, but she could sniff out that can of gasoline you were about to dump on her as soon as the idea came to your head.  She was already dialing 911 when he started making threats about giving her a shower of gasoline and drying her off with a swift light of a match.  He quickly abandoned that first idea, went back to his Gallagher roots, and had a new plan in a matter of minutes.  Nothing screams disability checks like third degree burns to every inch of the body.  So naturally he lit himself up and waited for the cops to show up.  Due to the earlier phone call and the unbelievable response times of Madison police and emergency vehicles, if you need proof of their speed just ask anyone who lived on the roadside of either Witte or Sellery dorms at UW-Madison, the first responders were able to foil Lewis’ plan by extinguishing him before he qualified for the checks.  Options 1 and 2 were expired for Lewis, so he had to do the last rational thing any Gallagher would do and lie to the police by saying the gasoline can’s in the house while they put out the flames that engulfed him.  If the cops aren’t there to help you, just lie through your teeth about everything that happened and hope for the best.

Don’t worry, Lewis was released on bail, probably already hit a few bars, and I’m sure is making his way back home to Chicago before the police can find him.

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If you didn’t know where in the hell Montee Ball went, don’t worry, because he’s back baby.

If you were lucky enough to grow up in Wisconsin around football, you’ve had the luxury to watch a handful of players do things on the gridiron everybody else can’t even imagine.  Obviously, Aaron Rodgers could throw a ball over the mountains and hit Lincoln’s nose on a penny waiting on the other side, Joe Thomas could pass protect a freshly cooked steak from a pack of starving wolves, and JJ Watt could sack Trump through the secret service and White House walls without a problem.  Wisconsin football has always been a beauty to watch and guys like the ones listed above as well as other legends like Brett Favre, Ron Dayne, Lee Evans, Reggie White, Charles Woodson, Melvin Gordon, Bart Starr, and a bunch more were the main reasons why we’ve been blessed to watch Wisconsin football.

However, besides Aaron Rodgers, I’d argue none of those players were more dominant in their respective fields than Montee Ball was as a touchdown scoring running back in college football.  He left Madison with 77 rushing TDs, the most for a RB in FBS history, 18 or more TDs in 3 straight seasons, and 33 TDs in his junior season, the second most in FBS history for one season.  The guy was an absolute monster.  He ate up more defenses on the football field than guys are eating up asses in 2017.  If he was within sniffing distance of the endzone, and you were in front of him, your obituary would be front page news the next day for the horrible things he did to you, guaranteed.  Just look at him…

After all the success, he was drafted to the Denver Broncos in the second round, played parts of a season, lost in the Super Bowl, and was never heard from again after being cut the next year.  Ball went from one of the most prolific running backs in college football history to fallen off the face of the Earth is less than a year.  What the hell happened?

Source: Alex Marves of Sporting News:

While breaking rushing records for the Badgers, Ball was setting himself up for failure to come. The heavy partying that began during his 2011 junior season didn’t stop after he became a Denver Broncos second-round draft pick two years later.  The boozing continued throughout his time in Denver and after his 2015 release.  A domestic violence arrest in February 2016 left him watching his former Denver teammates win Super Bowl 50 from jail. New England, which had signed Ball to its practice squad, unceremoniously dumped him. Another domestic violence arrest followed after claims made to police by a girl he dated several years earlier; claims that Ball adamantly denies.  Ball still had not yet hit rock bottom.  That moment came last April. One week following the birth of a son he didn’t know was his until just three months prior, Ball was arrested for violating terms of his bond when spotted drinking inside a Whitewater, Wis., bar.

Going from setting all time records to two counts of domestic abuse and severe alcoholism is the definition of a rough rock bottom.  I’ve always said that you can’t be an alcoholic in college.  It only counts if you continue your multi-weekly binge drinking episodes after your handed the diploma or fail out.  Whatever your lucky enough to get first.  But, I’m rethinking that after reading Montee Ball’s stories because he’s always been one of my favorite athletes, and he even says himself that it could’ve been avoided.  As a fan I’m just glad he’s back on track to what he wants in life.  Since getting clean, he’s had multiple job offers, potential tryouts, and other opportunities.  No matter what happens, I and the rest of the Tap Down Sports brand will always support you.  Here’s Montee’s future plans, from the same source.

He is anxious to resume work on his old campus, finishing a sociology degree before pursuing a master’s program. Fiercely loyal to his alma mater, Ball is taking advantage of a Wisconsin reentry program that allows former athletes to finish their degrees.  “I’m really focused on improving my image and relationships that I destroyed,” he said. “I let down the fans, the entire University of Wisconsin and my family. I want people to know I am deeply sorry.  “I feel way better now. I feel like I’m free.”  And determined to stay that way.

Monday Night Football: Packers versus Lions: Our lives can finally return to normal after a bye week.

Whoever’s idea it was to put the Packers on Monday Night Football after a bye week is either a saint of the highest, highest regards that should have a holiday named after them or a real life devil pouring battery acid into the already very open, bloody, and painful wound that is the first half of Green Bay’s 2017 season.  On one hand, a Packer Monday Night Football game gives the Wisconsin faithful an actual reason to booze on calm November weeknight rather than the typical excuse of “fuck it,” which is an ethical win in itself.  On the other hand, they’ve held the Pack from us for over 15 days, 4 hours, and 30 minutes by the time game time rolls around causing severe withdrawals and taking away any sense of a routine that we had in our crazy lives.  School, school, school, school, drink, drink, Packers, repeat.  Bye week throws that whole schedule right threw the fucking wall and turns our whole two week period upside down.  If the Packers aren’t playing, lefts turn into rights, a.m.’s turn into p.m.’s, and nobody knows what to do with themselves.  Luckily, its all over, most of us made it through, and we can plop on the couch tonight, crack a cold one, and catch our Packers in action against the division rival Detroit Lions.

Even though it turned our lives into spin cycles, hopefully the bye week did some wonders for our spiraling downward Packers.  More time for Hundley to mesh and perfect elements of the offense.  More time for the injury report to look more like a long, grueling season rather than a nuclear bomb went off on the Packer sidelines.  Montgomery should be all healed up, DeVante Adams might actually know where he is this week, the offensive line could feature all five starters for once, and the secondary should have more than just Haha by himself back there.  Lastly, there’s more time for the staff to figure out ways to get Hundley going, while Capers can come up with a plan to stop the Lions.

Luckily for the Packers, but unfortunate for our eyes, this might be one of the ugliest football games played all season.  The Packers and Lions both come into this game in the bottom 3rd of the league in every offensive category, while their defenses are, surprisingly, some of the best in the league.  Picks, sacks, fumbles, among other gross offensive plays could fill this game from start to end, but I think that actually plays into the Packers favor.  To be honest, I don’t think the Packers could win a shootout with their offense right now.  Jordy and DeVante our showing to be too Rodgers dependent, even though they have the abilities to be top wide outs in the league without the best QB in the league.  I’m taking our chances to win in a grit fest, and just hope Stafford’s inevitable 4th quarter come back will come up short this time.  We gotta stay above 500 to have any hopes of the playoffs.  If we sink to 4-4, we might never make it out of the hole.  I know were all counting down the minutes to see what our Packers are made of, so I’ll leave you with this to make the time fly faster.

 

Drink of the Weekend: I’m Bringing it Back

I like to think Tap Down Sports is a place people of all different backgrounds can come together to smile, laugh, and be entertained through the TDS crew’s opinions and stories about the world and sports, whether that’s from our comedy or just that they find the unique way we live life particularly funny.  Regardless, I know I enjoy how we do things here, and I always want and love to see endless content from the boys as well as feedback from, the one and only, fans of the brand.  There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for anyone that’s had a laugh reading a Tap Down Sports blog or listening to the guys out in TDS OshVegas crack jokes about their crazy ass lives on their podcast.  Also, I would do anything for any of the guys that work here no matter what they need, even though I haven’t met half of them while others are my best friends to this day, because they’re all still my dudes.  Now that I’ve opened up my heart and put all my feelings about what Tap Down Sports and the guys mean to me out on the table… I’m 100%, absolutely, with out a single doubt still going to cuck O’Kane and give you a helluva “Drink of the Weekend” article.

If you’re a Tap Down Sports original day one, you would know that we used to be known as Balls, Sacks, & Hard Wood back in our early days.  O’Kane, our head man out at TDS OshVegas and one of the original fearsome fivesome, used to drop drink of the weekend articles every Friday for the alcoholic college students that make up 99% of our audience.  Articles about Four Lokos and Fireball filled the phone and computer screens of many every Friday afternoon as well as filled their innocent brains with ideas about what they were going to put into their bodies later that night.  Needless to say, the blogs caused many blackouts and they we’re a huge hit, but unfortunely we’re lost in the paperwork of the transition from BSHW to TDS.  BUT NOW THEIR BACK BABY, IN ALL THEIR GLORY.  Not sure how O’Kane’s going to feel about this or the faithful that are used to how he wrote them, but now that I’m 21 and can legally explain alcoholic beverages, I’m going in balls deep, full send and giving it my best shot.

Drink of the Week: Peppermint Schnapps

“Whoaaaaa, hold your horses there Connor.  Starting out with a pretty hot take on your first go around huh?”

Yes, I realize that peppermint schnapps isn’t the most conventional weekend drink, but in fact, October 31st just passed and today, November 3rd is the first Friday of…drum roll please…HOLIDAY SZN.

The temperature’s dropping, the leaves are falling, the cool winds are smacking you in the face, the football season is full go, and within the next few days, the first beautiful layer of pure white snow will be covering the earth.  It’s Holiday Season, without a doubt, and peppermint schnapps is the taste of Holiday Season.

Where do I get it?

Surprisingly, pretty much every liquor store carries a few kinds of peppermint schnapps year round?  How do I know this?  The only liquor my Dad drinks is the occasional shot of peppermint schnapps, so when it comes time for a special occasion, no matter what time of the year, he’ll go get a bottle of peppermint schnapps for his one shot.

The easiest and affordable brand to buy with also the festive color scheme bottle is Dr. McGillicuddy’s.  It’s at pretty much any liquor store near you.IMG_2534

How should I drink it?

1. Mixed with Hot Cocoa (By far the best way).  Bonus: use a candy cane stir rod too.

2. As a chilled shot.  It’s an easy to put down drink with a fine flavor of peppermint.

3. However you want!

Of course do your regular drinking thing of pounding vodka, rum, beers or whatever fits your fancy, but before you take that long, cold walk to the bars or to the nearest house party, maybe have a nice hot cocoa with a shot or two of peppermint schnapps to warm you up before the night begins.

Have a great weekend.

There’s no better way to wake up as a Bucks fan then this…

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Hurry, list your top 3 ways to wake up in the morning from 3 to 1.  GO!!

3. Email/Phone call that class/school is cancelled.

2. Not Hungover.

1. Your 22-year-old superstar, who’s leading the NBA in points per game and also the early season MVP race, says he’s never going to leave and play as many more years as he can for the city, bringing your team multiple rings and accolades.

Giannis saying that Wisconsin is the best NBA city to live in is a gift dropped straight from the Gods right down to the doorstep of every Wisconsinite out there.  It’s better than a $5 Hot and Ready at 2 am after a long night out.  It’s better than your long lasted crush saying she has feelings for you too.  It’s better than a God damn hot mug of cocoa after a day of playing in the snow.

You can’t beat the feeling of loyalty and love you feel when famous celebrities say they want to represent you more than anyone else in the World.  That’s exactly what Giannis is giving the people of Wisconsin with this statement, and he absolutely knows all of us fans are going to back him up and cheer for his every move for as long as he lives on this planet.  We’re all in it together for the ups, downs, and every step of this long run the Bucks and us, the fans, are about to take on the trip to not 1, not 2, not 3, but how ever many championships we fucking want.

We literally have the modern day Tim Duncan in Giannis.  He loves the city that drafted him and worked with him to become a MVP caliber talent before he’s even in his basketball prime; he’d rather live in a small market with a loyal fan base and the closest teammates/friends than the lights and fame of big cities with fair weather fans; and he’d rather show up everyday ready to play basketball the right way in a hard nosed, share the rock, grind on defense, and make any play you can for the benefit of your team style of play.  The only thing that’s different is Timmy D was calculating angles off the backboard to drop in smooth turnaround banks from anywhere on the court, while our boy Giannis will make you look like a preschooler while he ends your life and existence on Earth with dunks from the stratosphere.

As Bucks fans and Wisconsinites, we have been absolutely blessed with Giannis Antetokounmpo.  There’s no other way to describe it.  Don’t take him for granted, and be prepared to watch this beauty for the next 15 years plus…

GET OFF ME

STRAIGHT MUGGIN

DON’T JUMP BOI

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I’m unbelievably amped at 10:00 in an archaeology class on Friday morning.  Give me the Bucks game now.  Better tune in tonight at 6 vs the Pistons because you better believe Giannis is going to do something special.

WHAT?!?!?! THE PACKERS TRIED MAKING A MOVE AT THE TRADE DEADLINE?!?!?!

Oop.  Sorrey there.  Had to click bait your guys with the headline a little bit, but the Packers actually did try to make a move at the deadline, and it was a little unsettling.

Source: CBS Sports:

But first there’s this: apparently the Packers tried to steal Hoyer away, according to a report from Ian Rapoport of NFL Media.

That angle is fascinating, because the Packers have previously explained very loudly and very clearly that they are perfectly fine with Brett Hundley, their backup for the last three years, filling in for Aaron Rodgers, who suffered a broken collarbone and could miss the rest of the season.

Our Packers going out and trying to get a quarterback at the deadline is the most opposite, unimaginable, anti-Ted Thompson move any loyal Packer faithful could ever imagine.  I have to say I was dumbfounded and at a loss for words when I saw the headline that the Packers tried to sign a quarterback.  Not necessarily that it was a bad thing to do with a back-up starting and D3 hero Joe Callahan on the roster, but so surprising knowing the Packer’s front office experiences about as much excitement as a nursing home during bingo night…mild fun but the same old fun every week.  Then I saw it was Brain Hoyer, the least exciting QB player to ever step foot on the NFL gridiron, and everything made sense again.  To even further prove that Teddy T is still his old self, he didn’t even get a deal done either, letting Hoyer go back to the Patriots who drafted him.  I’m not a betting man, but I would bet that Ted Thompson only gambles on -1000 lines with no more than $5 at a time.

However, there’s something to be said about the Packers still attempting to go get a QB, especially Brian Hoyer.  Maybe they thought he would be cheap and a better option than Joe in case Hundley goes down, which would make sense.  But maybe, they thought Brian could come in and manage better than Hundley, which is a very scary thought.  I hope its the prior, and I hope Hundley can prove it this week.

 

P.S. Who has two thumbs up and their definition of a crazy Saturday night is a 5 hour game of monopoly with the wife and kids, while drinking not one but two O’Douls.

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The Bucks Looked Gross Last Night Against the Thunder, But It’s Ok.

It looked like the Thunder were a nationally ranked 5th grade AAU team, like the ones LeBron’s and DWade’s kids play on, and the Bucks were a 5th grade Saturday morning, travel basketball team with Giannis being that one kid that’s already like 6’3″ and can hang with anyone because he’s basically a full grown adult at that point.  However, I am not at all worried about my Bucks.  They’ll be fine.  Yesterday’s fluky performance can best be explained through the opening verse of Limp Bizkit’s “Break Stuff”:

It’s just one of those days, when ya don’t wanna wake up
Everything is fucked, everybody sucks
You don’t really know why, but you wanna justify rippin someone’s head off
No human contact, and if you interact your life is on contract
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker!, It’s just one of those days!

When you’re down 18 points going into halftime, you soak all the balls, jerseys, shoes, socks, hoops, nets, court, and stadium in gasoline, turn around, start walking, put on some sunglasses, place a cig in your lips, flip open your zippo, light the dart, breathe in a deep, slow drag, toss that lighter over your shoulder, hear the explosion as it all goes up in flames, and pretend like the game never happened.  It was just one of those days.

However, there were two huge things the Bucks must fix if they have any hopes at all of being a Championship team.  We’ve already made it to the playoffs and are definitely a playoff caliber team, so at this point, we have to take it to the next step, starting with figuring out these two issues.

1. Khris Middleton has to understand when it’s not his night.

Khris is definitely our second best player, coming off his best game of the season where he dropped 29 against the Hawks.  He’s a great 3 point compliment to Giannis’ driving capabilities.  He started this one though on a nice 0 for 6 run and ended up 3-13 with a cool 0-5 mark from deep.  I get it, I understand the only way to get out of a scoring slump is to by keep shooting, trust me, every time I play a game of basketball, I have to shoot myself out of a slump.  However, if you shoot 1 less time than Giannis, and score 19 less, you need to realize that it’s not your night and use your play-making skills to set-up someone’s who’s feeling it with a good shot.

2. Thon Maker needs some milk.

Here’s a side by side view of Thon Maker and his matchup last night, Steven Adams, along with their heights and weights.

Thon Maker: 7’1″ and 220 lbs               Stephen Adams: 7’0″ and 250lbs

Imagine that stick trying to guard that boulder.  It would probably turn out something like 2-3 with 2 dunks and 3 rebounds (2 offensive) in the first few minutes of the game on the way to 7-10 for 14 points and 11 boards compared to a line of 3-9 and 1 rebound for the stick.  Hey what do you know, those are the exact stats for Stephen Adams and Thon Maker last night.  Maybe he shouldn’t of been expected to out rebound a guy who is at least 30 pounds heavier.  Thon start rackin’ up calories man, get on the Stephen Adam’s diet.  Drink some milk.
Besides those two issues, last night never happened, and don’t bring it up ever again. The Bucks have a chance tonight to start a new win streak and get things rollin’ against the Hornets.  Let’s go.