Update! Camper Guy’s got Friends and they already ordered a hit and run on me.

Some people describe my theories about the camper dude as “far-fetched,” “preposterous,” or even a little “paranoid”, and I was right there with them.  Nobody that honestly thinks a guy lives next to them in a camper and sells drugs to kids while stealing people’s underwear, should be truly believed by anybody because that person is likely clinically insane.  I was simply concocting a fictional story that would get page views and clicks based on a few coincidental things that happened in my life at the same time.  I never once believed any of those things were happening, except for maybe the drugs, because those kind of deranged situations don’t happen in real life.  Remember, I’m a simple guy with simple tastes.  Bbbbbbbbbuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttt

EVERYTHING CHANGED IN THE SECOND IT TOOK FOR SOMEONE TO TURN THE KEY AND KILL THE ENGINE OF A FRESHLY PARKED CAMPER.  If you recall on my twitter, I tweeted this picture:

on Sunday morning clearly showing that Camper guy either upgraded to a fresh new green trimmed camper or the guy convinced someone, either directly or indirectly, to also live in their camper outside my house.  Assuming the next step up from a camper house is probably an apartment, I’m going to assume the latter.  Hey, I was giving him the benefit of the doubt that he was a guy who got some bad breaks and was trying to make the best out of his situation by living the camper life for a bit.  Shit happens, you move into the camper, I get it.  But then this new camper guy #2 shows up, and I’m 100%, absolutely convinced that everything I previously theorized is the honest truth, and these two guys are plotting to murder me.  It probably wasn’t even hard for camper guy #1 to convince #2:

Original Camper Guy: “Hey bro, you won’t move into your camper, park it outside this kid’s house, and conceive a step by step, diabolical plan to torture this man’s life with fear and weird scenarios, like selling drugs to kids or stealing his underwear, then murder him when were done with our fun.”

Camper Guy #2: “Bet:

IMG_2420“.

So now there’s two people trying to make my life the worst, and they’ve already put the plan into action.

Yesterday morning, I was minding my own business casually going through a 2 way intersection when I noticed the car parked at the stop sign started going.  As an avid moped rider, this happens all the time because people often don’t see you on their first look, start moving, then see you, and stop right away.  So, I kept driving like normal, but the car didn’t stop.  By this time, I was already moving too fast and was too far into the intersection to stop in time, so I sped up and tried to get around it.  BAM, the car hits the back end of my moped, throws me off course, and I crash into the sidewalk.  A college age girl, who was for sure on her phone, gets out and starts apologizing for hitting me with her car.  I tune it out though because if I was planning a hit on the kid I torture, that’s exactly who I would hire to make it look like an accident.  A tired college student, on their phone, at 7:30am during midterm week.  There’s just no other explanation.

I was fine because camper dudes wanted me to be fine.  They just wanted me to see my life being stolen right before my eyes and let me know they can steal it whenever they please.  I don’t know what to do.  Do I go to the police with this story?  No, because I’d be immediately sent to some kind of mental treatment center.  Do I confront them by walking up and knocking on the door?  No, because I’d never see the light of day again.  They have me trapped, and searching for a way out that will never be there.  I guess I’m just going to live my life until the next thing happens.

 

 

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