*UPDATE* Naturally, the Camper Guy is Selling Drugs to Minors.
What a world we all live in. One day you could just be living out of your camper on the side of the street, the next your stealing boxers from 20-year-old college dudes, then all of a sudden you’re the modern day Walter White selling drugs out of a RV to minors. I honestly cannot get a fucking read on this guy. I think I have him all figured out with the underwear swiping scenario, then I get home the next day, and he’s got a kid’s bike strewn outside his wide open camper door, while making the most obvious drug deal in the history of the world. He’s a full blown adrenaline junkie.
The guy one day says “fuck it,” uproots his whole life to instead go rouge by living a nomadic lifestyle via camper through the streets of La Crosse, hoping to feel the excitement of having no idea what’s in store for him that day, but that’s not even close to enough thrill for this maniac. He needs something more to get back that high of doing something you know you’re not supposed to be doing, like sitting while you pee or eating ice cream for breakfast. So, he conjures up this elaborate plan to one by one snag pairs of my boxers right out from under my nose. But the guy gets so damn good at it, I’m down to two pairs before I even have a clue to what’s going on. Stealing boxers from me while I dream a few feet away is a complete joke to this man nowadays. He could grab two pairs and take a nap in my bed before I even finished brushing my teeth for the night. Apparently when stealing boxers just doesn’t get you going anymore, I guess the next logical step is cooking up and selling drugs to kids out of the comfort of your own camper home parked right on the convenience of a street.
Don’t get me wrong here, selling drugs is like stealing candy from a baby to camper dude. Remember he’s a definite lunatic, so he’s for sure taking his next step to the next step in order to try to get some sort of feeling back into his life. He sets up this drug deal with a neighborhood kid with the nerve to say, “yeah come over to my street parked camper, throw your bike down in plain view, right in front of the door, and don’t forget to leave that door wide open on your way in.” Somehow, that’s not even the most crazy part! I literally live 0.3 miles away from the City of La Crosse Police Department. There’s not a day that goes by where at least 10 cop cars drive past our house at all times of the day. Most of the time they park on the street corner on the adjacent side of the house from where camper guy lives. Yet, this psychopath has the nuts to live his life the way he does: living in his camper, stealing boxers, and selling drugs to neighborhood kids.
I don’t know what camper guy has planned next. But I do know there’s something because insane people like him never fucking quit because they don’t know when enough’s enough. So now we wait for his next move, and I’ll leave you to the waiting with the words of my roommate Zach…