Things that are equally as confusing as Ezekiel Elliot’s Suspension

I’ll try to make sense of that, but I won’t.  The Appeals Courts slapped Roger’s 6 game suspension right back on Ezekiel Elliot’s forehead Thursday afternoon, but I guess there’s still more appeal processes that can be used by Zeke and the Cowboys?  I have no idea how the courts system works, but this things been in and out of the court room more times than OJ has.  Apparently the reason the appeal was denied and the suspension reestablsihed was because the NFLPA filed it a weird time, so his case wasn’t even reviewed.  The NFLPA can still file for appeal based on that Zeke didn’t he a fair trial,  which is what I thought this whole thing was about in the first place.

I honestly have no idea what’s going on, but I want it to be figured out, so the dude can get on with his life, and of course for my fantasy team.  So in the meantime, since all of us are lost puppies in this situation, I’ll try to distract us with other situations we all deal with that are really confusing too.

1. What side should you move to when you’re walking directly at someone?

I naturally think both should go right, as if we’re both driving cars passing each other on a highway, but it always ends up in the “Op Sorrey” dance where both people move the same way to get by until both parties are more exhausted and annoyed than little league baseball coaches.

2. What’s the correct percentage to tip for good or bad service?

Use a tip calculator?  Try to sneak a peak at someone who ordered something similar to you’s receipt?  Do math?  No, No, No.  Just put the gratuity in it for us please.  I’m tired of looking like I’m a high roller when I tipped 40%, but I’m poor and in reality I just can’t count.

3. How do I do my taxes?

“Put your total amount of worth in dollar amount of the investments, property, shares, bonds, etc on line 14b. Then add 13a to you 1040 EZ line 15c.” Yeah I have like $10 max in my bank account at all times so just take my taxes out of my paychecks and give me a small, meaningless tax refund once a year so I won’t try to start a revolution.

4. How do I gamble on anything else than the over/under?

To be quite honest, the only reason I don’t gamble is because I don’t understand anything but the over/under.  All the plusses and minuses along with the hundred numbers just brings out my PTSD from middle school math.

5. Is she mad at me?

The all time: you’ll just never know.

 

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