If there was two Karmas who were real people punching each other in the nuts over and over and over again, you would get OJ Simpson’s entire life. I realize that sentence is a complete mind fuck, but just hear me out.
Karma 1: Be born insanely athletic in California. Grow up as the best football player and athlete in everything you do. Go to USC, win the Heisman, and be drafted #1 overall.
Karma 2: Get drafted by the Buffalo Bills, the worst team in the league, on the opposite side of the country with exact opposite weather from your home.
Karma 1: Become the first 2,000 rusher in NFL history, a 6x Pro Bowler, 5x All-Pro, MVP, eventual Hall of Famer, and sports, culture, and worldly icon.
Karma 2: Marry a celebrity in Nicole Brown Simpson, have issues, and be arrested for her and her friend’s murder, while being the most obvious suspect in history when the police find a bloody glove behind your house, and you hold yourself at gunpoint driving down a major highway saying your going to kill yourself because you fucked up.
Karma 1: Get acquitted from the murder charges when your defense team features 3 hugely successful and famous lawyers, then help write a book titled, “If I did it.”
Karma 2: Get charged and convicted of burglary and 9 other charges for a robbery of sports memorabilia on Bruce Frumong in Las Vegas.
Karma 1: Get released on parole after serving 9 years in prison.
O.J.’ s life is a back and forth between the perfect dream and the worst nightmare that anybody could possibly imagine. Unfortunately, he’s on that good karma right now, so I can’t wait to see the next fucked up thing O.J. decides to do. Maybe he’ll figure it out, but he probably won’t. Also, #TheJuiceisLoose on Twitter. The only juice that is loose is that spunk O.J. was tossin’ on the security guard yesterday.