Apparently You Can Get Legally Married at Taco Bell
Taco Bell Worker: Welcome to Taco Bell, what can I get for you today?
Dan: Could I get two spicy chicken tacos, a crunchwrap supreme, and ummm do you think you could throw a 6 pack of those new chicken chips in there too? I’d give those a try. Honey, what do you want?
Bianca: I’ll have a double chalupa box with a Baja Blast.
Taco Bell Worker: Ok, what are your names?
Dan: Dan and Bianca.
Taco Bell Worker: Your order is coming right up, in the meantime, by the power vested in me of this Holy Sanctuary of deliciousness and diarrhea, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.
*Dan and Bianca kiss as their tray is brought to them with “Bridal Chorus” playing in the background.*
This was the first thing I pictured when I opened up Twitter and saw that people were getting hitched at T-Bell. Apparently, Taco Bell opened up a wedding venue in Las Vegas (Go Knights Baby) that people are actually getting married at. Just ask Dan and Bianca.
To be honest, I have way more questions than reactions to this, this, I don’t even know what to call it. I’m just going to throw out the questions that most normal people are thinking by this.
- Do you get to order Taco Bell why you’re in the chapel? Is it a fully functioning restaurant?
- Does Taco Bell cater your reception for free? For at least a discount?
- Are they paying the first people with free Taco Bell for a year to get them to actually spend their most special day together at a Taco Bell chapel in Las Vegas, while displaying the whole day on different types of social media?
- Do Dan and Bianca even know each other? Are they actors? Prostitutes?
- Are the witnesses for the wedding just Taco Bell customers?
- Did Dan and Bianca, if they do actually know and love each other, go to college? Because I go to college, and I’ve seen some very vulgar stuff go down and come out inside a Taco Bell. If I could walk through the drive through there, I would.
Could someone help me out with these questions. I’m dying to know. Regardless of anything I’ve said in this blog, my girlfriend loves Taco Bell. I think I could swing a Taco Bell wedding to get a semi-free trip to some Las Vegas Golden Knights games. Win, win situation. Am I right?