Apparently You Can Get Legally Married at Taco Bell

Taco Bell Worker: Welcome to Taco Bell, what can I get for you today?

Dan: Could I get two spicy chicken tacos, a crunchwrap supreme, and ummm do you think you could throw a 6 pack of those new chicken chips in there too?  I’d give those a try.  Honey, what do you want?

Bianca: I’ll have a double chalupa box with a Baja Blast.

Taco Bell Worker: Ok, what are your names?

Dan:  Dan and Bianca.

Taco Bell Worker: Your order is coming right up, in the meantime, by the power vested in me of this Holy Sanctuary of deliciousness and diarrhea, I now pronounce you man and wife.  You may kiss the bride.

*Dan and Bianca kiss as their tray is brought to them with “Bridal Chorus” playing in the background.*

This was the first thing I pictured when I opened up Twitter and saw that people were getting hitched at T-Bell.  Apparently, Taco Bell opened up a wedding venue in Las Vegas (Go Knights Baby) that people are actually getting married at.  Just ask Dan and Bianca.

To be honest, I have way more questions than reactions to this, this, I don’t even know what to call it.  I’m just going to throw out the questions that most normal people are thinking by this.

  1. Do you get to order Taco Bell why you’re in the chapel?  Is it a fully functioning restaurant?
  2. Does Taco Bell cater your reception for free?  For at least a discount?
  3. Are they paying the first people with free Taco Bell for a year to get them to actually spend their most special day together at a Taco Bell chapel in Las Vegas, while displaying the whole day on different types of social media?
  4. Do Dan and Bianca even know each other?  Are they actors?  Prostitutes?
  5. Are the witnesses for the wedding just Taco Bell customers?
  6. Did Dan and Bianca, if they do actually know and love each other, go to college?  Because I go to college, and I’ve seen some very vulgar stuff go down and come out inside a Taco Bell.  If I could walk through the drive through there, I would.

Could someone help me out with these questions.  I’m dying to know.  Regardless of anything I’ve said in this blog, my girlfriend loves Taco Bell.  I think I could swing a Taco Bell wedding to get a semi-free trip to some Las Vegas Golden Knights games.  Win, win situation.  Am I right?



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