Marian Hossa with One of the Most Major Hockey Guy Moves of All Time.

I had to spit shine my eyes with inch sized windshield wipers after I read this story.  Marian Hossa just launched his reputation into the stratosphere with one of the most amazing hockey guy moves of all time, for a guy named Marian.  Many of you reading this article The two of you reading this article are probably thinking that I’m insane, and Hossa is a bender puss that can’t even pull on his pads or lace up his skates because he’s a tiny bit fucking itchy.  Oh how wrong you would be with that opinion, and here’s two reasons why.

The Injury:

I’m no doctor, but I’m thinking a severe, rare skin disease developed from hockey equipment probably doesn’t happen over just a “few years” as Hossa says.  First, there’s no way if you’re a NHL hockey player that you go get a check-up or see a team doctor the minute you notice a bit of a skin rash.  Unlike all other humans, a hockey player’s keeping that shit to himself until it’s unbearable.  Second, if you’ve been taking medicine and doing treatments to see what works to stop the skin disease, you’re still playing in order to test out what works.  Hossa’s definitely been dealing with this shit for more than a few years.  If we assume this is a lingering issue that got progressively worse, then just 3 years ago in 2014-15, then he played all 82 with over 18 minutes of ice time.  I’m not even talking about playoff games either, and the Blackhawk’s play a shit ton of those too.  Hossa’s grinding on the ice game after game with a complete body rash, probably getting to the bench, and all his teammates start slashing him in the back just to get some relief.  What a man.

The Legacy:

Hossa is a 20 year veteran.  A 3 Time Stanley Cup Champion.  The 54th highest point scorer in NHL HISTORY.  He’s done all he needs to do in his hockey career to be a legitimate Hall of Fame candidate.  I don’t know if you read the statement above, but Hossa and the Hawks are only saying he’s done for 2017-18.  ONLY 2017-18.  The guy wants, needs some more.  He’s been bashing his body on the ice for 20 straight years, has developed a rare skin disease created by required hockey equipment, and is willing to give up a year to learn how to treat it, so he can get back out there when he’s 40 to roll some more fuckin’ heads.  I sure hope to the high heavens that he can make a comeback.  I want to see a fully healthy Hossa get one more year, pain free, that he deserves.

I haven’t heard of a bigger hockey guy move than that.

P.S. I’m a Wild fan, so fuck the Blackhawks.  I respect the shit outta Hossa’s move, but fuck him too, once he get’s back.



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