I Don’t Even Know What to do About Lavar Ball

As a sports media blogger, I feel like I need must have a take about anything Lavar Ball does do, might do, or doesn’t do.  The Big Baller Brand came out with Lonzo’s signature shoes today, and I am just speechless.  Just look, I just need a minute to regain my sanity…


WHAT THE FUCK DUDE? WHAT IN THE SERIOUS FUCK?  Sorry about that.  Honestly though, who’s going to buy those?  The demographic of people who could realistically afford to buy those shoes are less than the 1% and consist mostly of professional athletes (why would they buy shoes of a kid who still hasn’t done shit in the league yet), kids of rich parents, and famous people who live in LA.  Awesome, maybe like Kevin Hart will wear ZO2’s when he balls up the rec league on a Sunday morning.  The publicity for that will be insane.  For Christ’s sake, some people make $25 grand a year.  What, they’re going to be like, “Sorry kids, no dinner for a month because Daddy needs them ZO2’s.”  Apparently, Lavar has a specific demographic in mind.

I wonder how all the players like Damian Lillard, who didn’t have hundreds of dollars to spend on shoes while growing up, are going to feel about not being a “Big Baller”?  Damn.  Obviously, Lonzo is a special player, it’s easy to see that, but seriously having this guy around all the time, who can easily control his son to do whatever he wants, seems really not worth it to me if I’m a NBA GM.  I don’t know.  I just really don’t know.  $220 for slides, $495 for basketball shoes, $1,000 for an autographed shoe.  Wouldn’t people buy more of them if they were a bit cheaper, maybe like half of what they cost now?  Why don’t you just sell the autograph for $500 and just let Lonzo make you millions of dollars by being a financially smart, professional athlete.  OH THAT’S RIGHT, YOU ARE FUCKED IN THE HEAD.  Sorry again, I get what he’s doing by letting his kids do their own thing and not work under a major corporation that may or may not care about them, but I also don’t think that’s worth it.  I mean LeBron seems to being doing alright by just trying to become the best player of all time.  Maybe LaVar just doesn’t think they’re going to make it, and the shoes won’t be worth anything.  LaVar’s got me so rattled, I don’t even know what to do with myself.  You’re famous enough, just leave Lonzo alone and be a normal dad.  I hear being a Dad’s awesome, just enjoy it.  God damn.



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