The Do’s and Don’ts of Mifflin Weekend
This weekend thousands of young adults will be flocking to Madison for the annual Mifflin Street Block Party. In my opinion this, along with Freakfest are the biggest parties of the year. There are concerts (Chainsmokers on Friday), house parties, clubs and over 300 bars to choose from. It’s a buffet of alcohol and it’s a beautiful fucking mess every year. Last year was my first time I’ve had the opportunity to partake in this sacred Madison ritual. Even though it was 50 degrees and raining it was one of the most fun weekends I’ve experienced in college. So in light of this weekend, I present to you the do’s and don’ts of Mifflin Weekend.
Do – Drink Friday Night (Pretty Heavily)
There are so many people who don’t like to drink the night before a long day heavy drinking. Those people are softer than baby shit. If you want to wake up refreshed with no alcohol in your system, good fucking luck slamming a cold Natty Light at 7am. Your body isn’t built to drink right after waking up. What you need to do is trick your body and wake up buzzed or still drunk from the night before. Now I don’t mean get blacked out and puke drunk on Friday but it’s not every weekend you’re in Madison. Live a little.
Don’t – Wear your sweet new Nike’s or Jordan’s
This should be a nobrainer but last year, three times, THREE FUCKING TIMES, I heard some dude say that he didn’t want to go to a party because it was too packed or too muddy and his J’s might get messed up. College parties are muddy and packed. This year will be no different with the rain we’ve had all week. So leave your sweet Retro’s at home bud, nobody here will give a fuck for more than 30 seconds about what’s on your feet.
Do – Get Morning Drunk
Nothing is better than having your drunk ass have to squint one eye to read your phone at”11:05 am”. Whether it’s mimosas, bloodies or Kegs-n-Eggs there isn’t a bad way to get a good buzz on while the sun is still rising.
Don’t – Drink Straight Liquor All Day
Everyone loves the guy who’s stumbling around slugging whiskey straight out of the bottle. It’s all fun and games for that guy until you black out and black back in all day long. Take it from the guy who thought it would be a good idea to pound through three liter bottles of fireball instead of drinking beer like a normal person last year. Nothing is more awkward than blacking back in to find yourself in an Uber with no idea where you’re headed. I’m not saying to not drink liquor at all. Just remember, if you can’t taste it anymore, it’s already too late.
Do – Find a Balcony or Porch to Chill On
I’m not sure what it is but at least for me, when I’m on an elevated surface while drunk I’m just in my element. From a porch or balcony you get a view of the whole street or party. Another huge plus is that this will lower your chances with a run in with the local law enforcement. It’s also a great way to spot people you know or chirp that douche bag wearing a Jordan 23 Bulls uni. Really original guy.
Don’t – Go Gaga Over Seeing Athletes
Okay drunk ass Badger fan, Alex Hornibrook doesn’t want to hear your life story. None of these guys could give two shits about you. Also no athlete wants to “get a pic” either. You have to respect their personal space, they want to party too. However, I am not saying that it’s wrong to drunkenly harass Nigel Hayes for his horrific free throw percentage or haze Bronson Koenig about his dick pic. I’m kidding. These guys are just like you and are trying to enjoy themselves so let’s let them do that in peace.
It’s not a long list because the nice thing about Mifflin is, no matter what you’ll have great stories to tell your buddies about when you get the Sunday Scaries the next day. Stay safe out there.