Eric Thames legitimately hates the Reds with all his heart and his 22 inch forearms. What other reason can explain the murder rampage of the Red’s pitching staff as well as the genocide of every baseball in America as we know it. With tonight’s MLB leading 11th homerun and 8th versus the Reds, Thames has now taken Bronson Arroyo, Wandy Peralta, Robert Stephenson (2), Tony Cingrani, Tim Adleman, and Amir Garrett (2) deeper than Antonio Cromartie took any of his 8 baby mamas. If you didn’t know, that’s 6 of the 12 Red’s pitchers, and if that still doesn’t help you, that’s 50% of them. The worst part is that he still has 13 games left this season against the Red’s. That’s another 4 months of nightmares and cold sweats. If I’m the Red’s pitching coach, I’m hiding a cardboard cut out of Eric Thames in each member of the pitching staff’s locker in hopes to torture away any home runs left in their meat ball arms.
Here’s also a video of home run #8. God damn sexy.
Also, if you think he’s on steroids. The blood will do the talking, no not the Reds pitching staff’s blood splattered all over the pitching mound.
-The D3 Long Snapper
(Featured Image from Sports Illustrated)