I don’t know whether to be more shocked about Dustin Pedroia’s will to destroy the integrity of baseball as a whole or the indiscreet backstabbing murder he committed on his teammate Matt Barnes. I’m just going to start with Dustin’s shattering of one code and then move onto the other. Honestly just exasperated at this.
MLB Unwritten Code of Ethics (Well it’s written now, Breaking News):
When a douchebag on one major league club tries to fuck with a teammate by beaning him, spiking him, taunting him, or disrespecting his manhood in any other way imaginable, the next inning, your pitcher goes 90 mph high cheese as far inside as possible. Then the teams switch beans back and forth until someone loses it and the bullpens are sprinting to get in on the only action they’ve seen all game. Simple right? Apparently not. Manny Machado slides, spikes, and injures Pedroia on Friday night, but nothing even happens until Sunday. Major red flag here. Either nobody is teaching these Red Sock young men how to play the game or there are major locker room problems being caused by Pedroia. This leads me to my next point.
Bro Code: Matt Barnes unselfishly decides to step up for his teammates, Boston, and the game by attempting to no scope, snipe the brains out of Manny Machado’s head (Not saying I want to see the great baseball player get hit because I really really don’t want to see that, but he knows how the game works). This is an absolutely team oriented move. Not only does he have his brother’s back, but he actually hits Machado’s bat in the process. Foul tip and revenge, vet move Barnes. You would think Pedroia would be delighted by the initiative of Barnes, but instead he takes Machado’s, of the AL East rival Orioles, side. Talk about your best man banging your bride on the night before the wedding scenario going on. Barnes risked four games for you Dusty, and you have the nerve to publicly spite him during the game on live television, as well as in the after game interview which spread quickly on all social media platforms, when he’s the only teammate that tried to avenge you? Makes me absolutely sick. I hope your happy with yourself. Ruining friendships and professional sports.
-The D3 Long Snapper